How do I make my girlfriend less insecure ?
I find that Pay her a compliment is the best solution. Insecurity ruins lives instead of enjoying our lives enjoying the world around us we spend all of our time worrying about ways in which we are inadequate. I used to hate my nose I thought it was too big I used to look at it from different angles in photos and hate the way it looked it bugged the hell out of me the other one my hairline when I go into my 20s and I started to seal this receding here in the corners all of a sudden.
I got freaked out I thought I was losing my hair and I was going to go bald much sooner than I thought. What are your two I want you to think about them get that feeling in your stomach. When you have an insecurity that you can’t change and get ready for your perspective to be shifted we released a program called what men want we said we’re going to give out a prize for somebody out of these things three four thousand people who have bought this program we’re going to give out prize which is one hour with Matt and this person came this person showed up on a Skype call I said hey you know are you ready she said I’m ready I can’t wait I said you want to do post she said absolutely I want to do post it’s a great.
Get her to watch programmes like Embarrassing Bodies and The Sex Education Show. It’s all in the way you look at her body and touch her body… if you want her to feel good about the way she looks, let your mouth hang open when she takes off her clothes, and let her see your animalistic desire for her in your eyes. When you make love to her, spend time worshiping every inch of her body, and do it enthusiastically. Nothing speaks louder than that.
So I turned on my post for honest I was on a Sunday for this hour of coaching and this woman appeared on the post and what was immediately apparent was that this person had a disability she was in a wheelchair she said it’s so good to speak to you I’m a big fan of everything you do. I have to ask you how do I get this guy who is a friend to be more than a friend I said to her well how often do you see this person she said uh not really ever we just text and so how often do you go out she said only about once a month I leave the house they said well I forgive me for asking do you how much help do you need she said well my parents are the only ones that I go out with they take me out of the house they have to help me use the toilet when we go to coffee shops or when we’re anywhere I can’t I can’t you know.
Really can’t do anything other than talk without help how do I get this friend to be more than a friend and she said when I go out I want to talk to people but I’m worried that when I look at somebody they’re looking at me and they’re just seeing the amount of responsibility they have and I don’t know if they’ll be attracted to me and I thought of every time that I have played the violin for myself when I have gone out and looked at someone and thought maybe they won’t like me and I thought of her she gets to cry out once a month with her parents who help her use the toilet and if she wants to talk to someone what’s going through her mind is that she’s not thinking they might not think I’m pretty enough she doesn’t have the luxury of just thinking they might not think I’m pretty enough she’s thinking this person is seeing a life with someone who needs help.
Every step of the way they are taking on a full-time job by being with me and for a second it broke my heart to speak to this person and I and it the whole thing made dull every reason. I do my job made sense and I and I was I said to her that I cannot I’m not going to sit here and pretend to understand because that would be patronizing what I will say to you as you are unbelievably brave the work I would have to do on myself if I stepped into your shoes tomorrow for one day would be incredible and you’re already there so let’s start there I’m sitting here humbly in front of you let’s now talk about why I might be able to help you with let me tell you why I’ve learned and what we can do and I didn’t come from a place of feeling sorry for it because I don’t if you know it’s bigger than that it’s bigger than that.
This person doesn’t need someone feel sorry for her they need help they need someone gives some advice the same way I would anybody else she Reads she’s and she’s a woman you know she what she sits there on a Sunday and she Reads my new blog post and she has fun she’s a woman she’s a woman she doesn’t need me sympathizing with her she says hey help you know what to say help let’s talk and it just it all made sense to me and that that moment is a privilege and they you don’t know exactly when they’re going to come you just know that there’s going to be moments where something means something to you and it connects with you perspective is so powerful those moments where we realize where we are in relation to somebody else can be life-altering experiences now I don’t know what you freaked out about about yourself I don’t know what you spend your time worrying about what you wish was different but it is so important to introduce perspective can be like a life raft if you feel like you’re sinking if you feel like you don’t like yourself if you feel like this so much that you have to worry about looking at where somebody else is and seeing someone who has to deal with 10 times more than you is such a powerful thing and even for the young lady.
I’m talking about in the post there’s somebody looking at her saying you’ve got it made you can talk you’ve got it made I can’t even talk or there’s somebody looking at her saying you can leave the house once a month I never get to leave this bed or I don’t even know if I’m going to be here six months from now you know that you’re alive six months from now you know you’re healthy enough I don’t even know. If I’m going to be around you’ve got it made perspective can be a shortcut to gratitude so being grateful for what you have instead of being preoccupied with what’s wrong the ways in which you feel you’re inadequate now perspective can also be limited many of us get perspective in a moment something that shifts us and then we forget about it the moment we engage again with our personal suffering we forget about that lesson we learned that’s the problem so perspective can be a life raft but that’s not the same as happiness comes from falling in love with your situation and from falling in love with yourself when people go through my retreat program they’re not just changing their perspective they’re changing their personal reality because they’re falling in love with themselves and their life maybe for the first time my hope is that this post will be a pressure valve view any time you need to shift your perspective but if you want to go that next step if you want to change your reality and fall deeply in love.
What does it mean to be self conscious about your body ?
Basically being self-conscious worry that people are looking at my body and judging it, and painfully aware of every single aspect that is dissonant with how I actually want to look. A self conscious person will spend a fair amount of time looking in the mirror, trying to see if the parts of me I dislike could somehow be improved or if my only choice is to disguise them.